Feel free to skip this one if you don't like to hear people bragging about their kids

11 Mar
So I haven’t bragged about my kids in a while. And lately, they are doing a lot of things worth bragging about. I know that every parent says this, and every parent means it, but my kids really are amazing. They are smart and cute and I still can’t believe that God trusted me enough to be their mom. What a privilege.
Turned 4 in January and had a Diego birthday party. Now he says “Now I am almost five.”
Is crazy about all things dinosaurs. The other day we were doing a puzzle and I didn’t know the name of one of the dinosaurs. He looks at me like I’m insane and says “Mommy, that is a corythaosaurus.” I think if he had known the word, that sentence would have been followed with a “Duuuuuhhh.” He L-O-V-E-S Dinosaur Train and Dino Dan. And to spare all of you who don’t have kids, I’m going to refrain from my critique of today’s children’s programming but suffice it to say that Dino Dan is a child who is, apparently, completely delusional and sees dinosaurs everywhere and NOT ONE ADULT IN HIS LIFE SEEMS TO CARE. And Dinosaur Train, while infinitely more tolerable than Dino Dan, still features a family of Pteranodons (flying dinos) raising a T-Rex. Said T-Rex spends an awful lot of time with dinosaurs that are smaller than him and he NEVER EATS THEM. I don’t think that’s historically accurate. Also, they ride a time travelling train. So there’s that, if the whole T-Rex never eating his friends thing isn’t unbelievable enough. Now this next part is so cute that I have to bold it: When you ask Nolan why the dinosaurs died, he says “Because they stinked.” Get it? Like extinct? How effing cute is that??
Tells me that he loves me the moster.
Measures everything in terms of how big a monster is, i.e. “I want to stay up for bigger than a monster”, “I want a piece of candy bigger than a monster”, and “That airplane was bigger than a monster.” It’s the new metric system.
He is starting to have “problems” with his friends at school. Yesterday he told me he had a bad day because “Sam and Trevor did not let me sit in the pwetend chairs and they said I was a baby.” He tells us when they are not nice and when they fight over toys. I know it’s a part of growing up, but God help me I want to punch those other kids in the face for making my baby sad. (Not to say he’s never mean. I’m sure he is. But still. There is something heart-wrenching about your baby’s first fights with his friends.)
Says “police offeders”, “formleea” (formula), “snowflags” (snowflakes) and “stwabewy milk”
A couple weeks ago told me that we needed to have two more babies, a boy baby and a girl baby.
Said “Mommy, when I am an astronaut, I will still love you.”
Said “Mommy, we have the best family in the whole world.”
Said “I am happy every time I’m with you.” Melt me.
Is the best big brother I have ever known. When Leah crawls up next to him he automatically puts his arm around her without even thinking about it. He always tells her how much he loves her, he is always hugging her and kissing her and saying things like “You’re the cutest fattest baby” (FYI, she really is fat). Every morning when he gets out of the car at daycare he says “Bye bye Sissy, I love you Sissy, have a good day, Sissy. AND BE A GOOD GIRL.” Every morning, in that order, never fails. He shares his toys with her and tries to teach her to walk and talk and play sports.  He also gives her whatever she wants. Which is dangerous, but God help me, I just can’t stop him. He is going to make an amazing dad and that makes me so proud.
Is going to be 1 (ONE!!) in a month!
She is huge, weighing in at 24 lbs, but boy if you love baby fat rolls she has about a million of them to nibble on and they are so stinking cute.
She can do “so big”, and likes to wave while her hands are up there.
Blows kisses.
She is obsessed with her brother. She crawls on him, hugs him, tackles him, follows him, smiles at him, laugh at him, her world revolves around him.
Has started taking steps, one at a time. But she gets so excited when we start clapping for her that she starts clapping for herself and then she falls on her butt.
Has four teeth, two on bottom, two on top.
STILL does not sleep through the night. Hold me.
She really loves Dinosaur Train too.
She is rotten. I mean that with all the love in my heart, but she is. I think it has something to do with her daddy and brother giving her WHATEVER she wants. When you tell her “No no” she looks at you and says “Nah no?” like you’re really going to tell me no? She is into everything. EVERYTHING. She tries to put her hands in the toilet, the cabinets, the pantry, EVERYTHING BUT HER TOY BOX. We are actually going to have to child proof our house. We never had to do that with Nolan. He was so….calm. Who knew? She bangs the Wii sensor against the TV, hits her brother over the head with a water bottle and likes to head butt and pull hair. When her Daddy tells her no, she puts on the biggest pout I have ever personally seen and then screams until he picks her up and hugs her. Whenever her Daddy looks at her she puts her head down and (I’m not kidding) LOOKS UP AT HIM THROUGH HER EYELASHES AND SMILES. He has already offered to buy her a pony, a mustang and a beachouse. None of this bodes well for her teenage years. Hold me.
But for all of that, she is the sweetest little girl. If you pick her up and hug her, she pats your back and lays her head on your shoulder. She will crawl up to Nolan and just lay her head in his lap or on his leg while they watch TV. She likes to rub my arm while she drinks her bottle and gives wonderful slobbery baby kisses.
I want them to stop growing. Right here, right now. There is no way to preserve all the memories and I already mourn all the lost memories.

2 Responses to “Feel free to skip this one if you don't like to hear people bragging about their kids”

  1. ltotheizzo March 11, 2011 at 9:30 pm #

    I love Nolan’s dinosaur expertise! I spent a week and a half with my 4-year-old nephew and two-year-old niece this past Christmas. Jer (the little boy) would wake me up each morning and ask to watch stegosaurs videos on YouTube. Boys just love dinosaurs! It’s so cute that they’re so close! Good kids usually mean good parents. Make sure to give yourself some credit, too.

  2. Life of a Doctor's Wife March 14, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    This is so freaking sweet. I can’t believe your baby girl is almost ONE! And the monster metric system is about the most adorable thing ever.

    (And I love the entire paragraph about your problems with the dino TV programs. You make me giggle.)

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