I did it, Part Deux

14 Dec

When I first wrote a post titled “I did it” it was because I had quit my full-time, life-sucking, making-me-miserable job to work part time, to spend more time with my kids and focus on starting a freelance writing and editing career. While I never said this out loud, I gave myself a goal of freelancing full time by the end of 2011.

As of two weeks ago, I was convinced I would never make it. I was frustrated by the constant rejection from the jobs I applied for, I was frustrated by the seeming lack of jobs out there, and I was all-around miserable. I hated my part time job more than I had hated my full time job. I was held back by a lack of time – I needed time to apply for jobs, to grow my business, to market myself, but working outside of my house 25 hours a week and having a family just didn’t leave me the time I needed. But we also couldn’t afford for me to just quit. I felt the same as I’d felt for so long – stuck.

And then two Fridays ago, I was pushed over the edge by my boss. He was a cocky you-know-what and it hit me, just hit me that I had spent years (YEARS!!) working jobs I hated, working for total jerks, jobs which didn’t bring me any kind of fulfillment, personally or financially. I was waiting around for something to fall into my lap – to be one of those people for whom things just happened.

But that was silly and childish. It wasn’t going to happen unless I made it happen. So when I was at work, with my hands shaking in anger because I couldn’t believe I was an adult and being treated like a misbehaving teenager, I made the decision that I was getting out. I wasn’t sure how, but I had to. I didn’t want to be 40 or 50 or 60 years old and look back at my life and have a pile of regrets. I didn’t want to live with the realization that I had spent my kids’ childhoods away from them 40+ hours a week doing something I loathed. It would have been different if my job provided me with something that made me a better person – but it didn’t and it was no longer worth the sacrifice.

So Hubs and I spent the weekend talking and discussing, adding and subtracting, then talking some more. And Tuesday, I quit. I told them I would finish out the week. This Monday marked my first day working from home and it has been fabulous.

To save money on daycare and make ends meet, I’m keeping the kids home with me in the afternoons and working in the mornings and during nap time. It’s not ideal, and it’s definitely not full time yet, but I know I can do it and in the end my plan is to have enough work to put them back in daycare in the afternoons, but on an abbreviated schedule.

I’m going to create the life I want – the freedom to work when I want, how much I want, and be an involved, happy, and fulfilled mom. I’m terrified. I might totally bomb and be desperately looking for a normal, horrible job again in a couple of months. But I hope not. I really, really hope not. Because now that I’ve gotten a taste of what it feels like to work at home, on my couch, in sweatpants, I have to tell you – I might never go back.

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7 Responses to “I did it, Part Deux”

  1. Wanderlust December 14, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    Awesome. Good for you! My fingers are crossed for you as well!

  2. Heather December 14, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    You have just become my hero. I’m bursting with pride and happiness for you!

  3. beckyday6 December 14, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    Sounds liberating, good luck! 🙂

  4. K December 14, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

    Good for you for being brave to try something new.

  5. Life of a Doctor's Wife December 15, 2011 at 3:54 pm #

    You are an inspiration, my friend! I hope the first week went swimmingly!

  6. Angela Noelle December 15, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Good for YOU!!!! I see really great things happening for you. You are committed and passionate, and that is an unstoppable combination 🙂

  7. Tricia December 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Good for you! Take it day-by-day and good luck!

    And thanks so much for visiting Raising Humans yesterday!

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